Who Needs Social Security?

Social Security, Medicare Running Out Of Money

A combination of the floundering economy and the increasing number of retiring baby boomers could completely drain Medicare by 2017 and Social Security by 2037, both earlier than had been predicted. What can people do to ready themselves?

Avoid ever having to retire by securing a job with a lifetime appointment, like Supreme Court justice or Chilean dictator

Buy a decent pair of socks that can last for the next 40 years

Mend strained relationship with most successful child

Don't blow all your antibiotics on the one lung infection

If your employer doesn't offer a 401(k), try fashioning one yourself out of any spare pieces of Internal Revenue Code you have lying around


Demand that Congress engage in divisive, protracted, but ultimately successful bargaining to produce legislation that, with much fanfare, extends these programs' solvency through 2039

Mentally prepare to have no money and die earlier

Assume someone will figure everything out by then

This came from ONN, The Onion Network